The bulldog tragician
02-07-2016, 10:17 AM
If you're sick of the TBoyd furore, this is wonderful
http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/afl-season-2016-jordan-roughead--the-bulldog-who-is-finding-a-home-among-the-homeless-20160628-gptpty
When Jordan Roughead was still a teenager he went out with the St Vinnies food van for the first time, helping deliver evening meals to some people who lived on the streets. He had no idea what to expect before he headed out. But he was even less sure what to make of all the things he saw.
"I was a kid and I'd never really seen anything. My life had been easy, so in some ways I was always going to be a bit shocked," he said. "But there was a man there that first night and I remember he'd just been released from hospital. He had stitches in his wrists, he was telling us stories about being involved with the bikies and for me it was like, 'whoa, this is serious, this is real life'. I remember thinking, 'how does this happen? How is this the only thing he has to turn to?'"
It made Roughead want to know more, to help in some sort of way. So did Lukas Markovic and Ed Barlow, two of his first teammates at the Western Bulldogs who were working with Ladder, the charity founded by a group of footballers nine years ago to give homeless young people some support, a place to live and time to start working towards what they wanted to do with their lives. "I respected those guys for the values they had," Roughead said. "I wanted to be like them, a bit."
For the past few years, he has. Roughead is one of 10 AFL players working as mentors with Ladder, while another 10 are training to become one. He lives very busy days: training and playing with the Bulldogs, coaching the midfield for Victoria University's Western Spurs women's team and working towards the end of his international business degree. He played his 100th game before the Bulldogs' bye, he has enjoyed being back in the ruck and he loves playing in more winning than losing games. But there's something else about this season which feels like it matters more. "The environment has never felt like it does right now," he said. "With the way everyone gets along and cares about each other and wants the team to succeed more than anything else."
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At first Roughead wondered how hard it would be to identify and connect with kids who had done it much tougher than he had growing up. He still has to ask himself questions, like when does he need to keep a person's confidence, no matter what? When should he go to someone at Ladder for advice? He knows it's not his job to come up with answers for every single problem and has heard a lot about domestic violence, problems at school, with the police and with drugs. And about having nowhere to sleep at night, trying to find a new friend's couch to crash on.
Then there are the numbers which reinforce it all. "I got sent some stats the other day and there's about 26,000 people between 12 and 30 living on the street. And 70 per cent of them have left home due to family violence," Roughead said. "You always think, that would never happen to me, and I'm sure a lot of those kids have thought the same thing: I'm never going to have issues with drugs, I'll never have any problems with family violence, I'm never going to be homeless – and then six months, 12 months down the track they find themselves in that position. And if it's not them, it's someone they know. In one way or another, they're dealing with those sorts of things."
Roughead's latest pairing is with a young man. For the past few months they've caught up two or three times a fortnight to chat about whatever is going on in their lives. They talk and text in between and Roughead has worked out that all he really needs to be is a friend: someone to talk to, someone who will listen, someone to bounce ideas off, someone who will simply be there.
"At first it was a struggle. I found it hard to know how to handle it because I was feeling like I had to offer advice, and because I had never been in those shoes I was thinking, 'I've never experienced anything like this and I don't know how to solve problems like this'," Roughead said.
"But that's not what you have to do. It's not even all about problems. Sometimes people are looking for work, or they've found work, or they're deciding what they want to study and they want to tell you about the course they're looking at and get your thoughts on it – just as their friend.
"That's the main thing, but being an advocate is important because they will sometimes share things with you that they're not comfortable sharing with anyone else. You've got to try and filter out what you can tell other people from what you can't, just to help them get the best result they can."
At times finding that balance has been difficult. "You don't want to betray them and it can be a fine line between saying the right thing or just wording it the wrong way," Roughead said. "It's easy to feel like you've let people down and if you do that it can be a long way back to rebuild that trust. With my first couple of partnerships I think I was maybe trying to give too much advice. This latest one has been much more natural. It's just a conversation and you walk away feeling good about it."
That in itself has created some mixed feelings. "You almost feel a bit guilty," Roughead said, "for feeling like you're getting as much out of it as they are," Roughead said. All the same, he would love for more people to know what that feels like.
Already, every AFL player donates a portion of their match payments to Ladder. But with the Players' Association now part of The Unite Project – a collaboration with Cotton On, Emma and Tom's and Fluid design agency that will raise further funds for homeless youth through the sale of bottled water – Roughead hopes more footballers will become involved in a more practical way.
"Sometimes I don't think we all understand how appreciated we can be with things like this," he said. "It might sound arrogant but I think as footballers we can sometimes find ourselves in positions where people do look up to us a bit, and where our opinions can count for something. The kid I'm working with now is a Collingwood fan and probably had no idea who I was, but it helped break the ice, and the difference with us players is that we're not paid to be there for them.
"Everyone else in their life is, whether it's a case worker or the guys at Ladder, and I know that makes a big difference. I feel like these kids know we're purely there to help them and like I said, sometimes you almost feel selfish because you walk away and feel good about yourself for doing it. But at the time time, you're doing just one small thing to help out. It's rewarding and it's such a simple thing to try and do for someone. I'd love to see more players get involved with it."
Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/afl-season-2016-jordan-roughead--the-bulldog-who-is-finding-a-home-among-the-homeless-20160628-gptpty#ixzz4DCoxD5Dh
Follow us: @theage on Twitter | theageAustralia on Facebook
http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/afl-season-2016-jordan-roughead--the-bulldog-who-is-finding-a-home-among-the-homeless-20160628-gptpty
When Jordan Roughead was still a teenager he went out with the St Vinnies food van for the first time, helping deliver evening meals to some people who lived on the streets. He had no idea what to expect before he headed out. But he was even less sure what to make of all the things he saw.
"I was a kid and I'd never really seen anything. My life had been easy, so in some ways I was always going to be a bit shocked," he said. "But there was a man there that first night and I remember he'd just been released from hospital. He had stitches in his wrists, he was telling us stories about being involved with the bikies and for me it was like, 'whoa, this is serious, this is real life'. I remember thinking, 'how does this happen? How is this the only thing he has to turn to?'"
It made Roughead want to know more, to help in some sort of way. So did Lukas Markovic and Ed Barlow, two of his first teammates at the Western Bulldogs who were working with Ladder, the charity founded by a group of footballers nine years ago to give homeless young people some support, a place to live and time to start working towards what they wanted to do with their lives. "I respected those guys for the values they had," Roughead said. "I wanted to be like them, a bit."
For the past few years, he has. Roughead is one of 10 AFL players working as mentors with Ladder, while another 10 are training to become one. He lives very busy days: training and playing with the Bulldogs, coaching the midfield for Victoria University's Western Spurs women's team and working towards the end of his international business degree. He played his 100th game before the Bulldogs' bye, he has enjoyed being back in the ruck and he loves playing in more winning than losing games. But there's something else about this season which feels like it matters more. "The environment has never felt like it does right now," he said. "With the way everyone gets along and cares about each other and wants the team to succeed more than anything else."
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At first Roughead wondered how hard it would be to identify and connect with kids who had done it much tougher than he had growing up. He still has to ask himself questions, like when does he need to keep a person's confidence, no matter what? When should he go to someone at Ladder for advice? He knows it's not his job to come up with answers for every single problem and has heard a lot about domestic violence, problems at school, with the police and with drugs. And about having nowhere to sleep at night, trying to find a new friend's couch to crash on.
Then there are the numbers which reinforce it all. "I got sent some stats the other day and there's about 26,000 people between 12 and 30 living on the street. And 70 per cent of them have left home due to family violence," Roughead said. "You always think, that would never happen to me, and I'm sure a lot of those kids have thought the same thing: I'm never going to have issues with drugs, I'll never have any problems with family violence, I'm never going to be homeless – and then six months, 12 months down the track they find themselves in that position. And if it's not them, it's someone they know. In one way or another, they're dealing with those sorts of things."
Roughead's latest pairing is with a young man. For the past few months they've caught up two or three times a fortnight to chat about whatever is going on in their lives. They talk and text in between and Roughead has worked out that all he really needs to be is a friend: someone to talk to, someone who will listen, someone to bounce ideas off, someone who will simply be there.
"At first it was a struggle. I found it hard to know how to handle it because I was feeling like I had to offer advice, and because I had never been in those shoes I was thinking, 'I've never experienced anything like this and I don't know how to solve problems like this'," Roughead said.
"But that's not what you have to do. It's not even all about problems. Sometimes people are looking for work, or they've found work, or they're deciding what they want to study and they want to tell you about the course they're looking at and get your thoughts on it – just as their friend.
"That's the main thing, but being an advocate is important because they will sometimes share things with you that they're not comfortable sharing with anyone else. You've got to try and filter out what you can tell other people from what you can't, just to help them get the best result they can."
At times finding that balance has been difficult. "You don't want to betray them and it can be a fine line between saying the right thing or just wording it the wrong way," Roughead said. "It's easy to feel like you've let people down and if you do that it can be a long way back to rebuild that trust. With my first couple of partnerships I think I was maybe trying to give too much advice. This latest one has been much more natural. It's just a conversation and you walk away feeling good about it."
That in itself has created some mixed feelings. "You almost feel a bit guilty," Roughead said, "for feeling like you're getting as much out of it as they are," Roughead said. All the same, he would love for more people to know what that feels like.
Already, every AFL player donates a portion of their match payments to Ladder. But with the Players' Association now part of The Unite Project – a collaboration with Cotton On, Emma and Tom's and Fluid design agency that will raise further funds for homeless youth through the sale of bottled water – Roughead hopes more footballers will become involved in a more practical way.
"Sometimes I don't think we all understand how appreciated we can be with things like this," he said. "It might sound arrogant but I think as footballers we can sometimes find ourselves in positions where people do look up to us a bit, and where our opinions can count for something. The kid I'm working with now is a Collingwood fan and probably had no idea who I was, but it helped break the ice, and the difference with us players is that we're not paid to be there for them.
"Everyone else in their life is, whether it's a case worker or the guys at Ladder, and I know that makes a big difference. I feel like these kids know we're purely there to help them and like I said, sometimes you almost feel selfish because you walk away and feel good about yourself for doing it. But at the time time, you're doing just one small thing to help out. It's rewarding and it's such a simple thing to try and do for someone. I'd love to see more players get involved with it."
Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/afl-season-2016-jordan-roughead--the-bulldog-who-is-finding-a-home-among-the-homeless-20160628-gptpty#ixzz4DCoxD5Dh
Follow us: @theage on Twitter | theageAustralia on Facebook