The Titus O'Reilly thread - 2020 edition

[Dry Rot]

Many of you know his work, but if you don't, he writes very funny but cutting round match previews and then equally witty match summaries post weekend. See https://www.titusoreily.com

Each round you can post your favourite quotes to amuse us all.

[Dry Rot]

From his Round 4 summary. Many of you will recall my admiration for Liam Jones...


Essendon (51) v Carlton (52)

It was the falcon heard around the world.

A lesser player would have punched a potential game winning goal away from the line, but not Liam Jones.

When Jacob Townsend, marked 45m out and directly in front of goal, you could just see Jones’ mind ticking over. How could he add a degree of difficulty to saving the game in the dying seconds?

As the ball headed towards goal, Jones rose in flight, like a condor soaring on an updraft, a heady mixture of grace and power, and then he met the ball cleanly with his face.

It’s arguably the most beautiful bit of play the game has seen. Easily the best this century.

This is the footage I’d be using to promote the game around the world.

As for Essendon fans, it’s just more of the same.

They’re used to whatever could go wrong, going wrong, and while Liam Jones headbutting a ball away from goal was probably not on their list of things that they expected to happen, it wouldn’t have been ruled out entirely...

None of us like a Carlton victory, but if it’s going to happen at least it was against Essendon.



https://www.titusoreily.com/afl/the-monday-knee-jerk-reaction-afl-round-four2

[Twodogs]

Usually falcons are bad things. The one Roughie copped in the 2016 prelim comes to mind.

Only Liam Jones could make one a match winning highlight.

[comrade]

Titus really is a man of the people. This line sums up my thoughts precisely:

None of us like a Carlton victory, but if it’s going to happen at least it was against Essendon.

[dadsgirl16]

A couple of weeks ago he had Lachie Hunter as the MVP of COVID lockdown..he is very amusing on Twitter

[1eyedog]

Who does Titus support?

[Axe Man]

Who does Titus support?

Melbourne:


Melbourne (44) v Geelong (47)

If the coronavirus was a footy game, this would have been it. A painful experience that just sucks away what little enjoyment of life you had.

The only difference between the two teams seemed to be that Geelong had some idea of what to do when they entered their own forward fifty, and even this they got wrong a fair bit.

Steven May and Jake Lever did their job for the Demons, but the Melbourne midfield aren’t that interested in doing things like manning up or running back to fill up their defensive fifty after a turnover.

Then there is their entry into the forward fifty.

The Demons have the offensive capabilities of the Bolivian navy. They are a boxer with no power, they can’t knock you out and every team knows this and plays them accordingly.

The club is currently asking for donations to cover losses from the coronavirus and this week launched a Demons Proud To Belong guernsey to raise money.

Because I’m an idiot, I’ll definitely donate, and I’ve kept my membership this year despite losing ninety percent of my income for 2020 and not being able to go to a game (probably a blessing).

Wouldn’t it be nice if the players met us fans halfway and wore the jumper with the same commitment Melbourne members show year after excruciating year?

Charities do have to show that donations are being put towards fixing the problem.

[1eyedog]

This from 2017

'It still feels weird seeing Luke Hodge in a Lions jumper though, like kissing your cousin, it feels weird no matter how much you try to get past it'.

'At least that’s what I’m told'.

[Twodogs]

This from 2017

'It still feels weird seeing Luke Hodge in a Lions jumper though, like kissing your cousin, it feels weird no matter how much you try to get past it'.

'At least that’s what I’m told'.

Yes of course. "Told."

[Daughter of the West]

Who does Titus support?

Titus is always at his best on Twitter when Melbourne are doing badly - pretty much how he got his start in comedy I understand.

[Remi Moses]

He’s excellent
Dry and witty and self deprecating
One of the few funny media types

[Dry Rot]

Titus is always at his best on Twitter when Melbourne are doing badly - pretty much how he got his start in comedy I understand.

The Melbourne Demons and comedy are a match made in heaven.

[Twodogs]

The Melbourne Demons and comedy are a match made in heaven.

Some games they could just cancel the commentary and play the Benny Hill music.

[Daughter of the West]

Some games they could just cancel the commentary and play the Benny Hill music.

It would do a better job than Bruce... :rolleyes:

[Twodogs]

It would do a better job than Bruce... :rolleyes:

More entertaining that's for sure.