Great sledges

[ledge]

Over the last few months we have discussed Dennis Comettis one liners and there is also a post on here about banning sledgeing, nothing like a clever sledge, Twodogs posted a good one from Judd on the weekend, got me thinking i would start a post on great sledges that you have heard, cricket , football or whatever.
please post away, i still play cricket so wouldnt mind using some, hope they arent patented!

[1eyedog]

I'm a pace bowler, often use "Cinderella gets to more balls than you" after a few misses outside off stump. Usually gets a laugh from the non-striker as well.

[Twodogs]

I'm a pace bowler, often use "Cinderella gets to more balls than you" after a few misses outside off stump. Usually gets a laugh from the non-striker as well.



As a batsman you love to hear that sort of thing. If you're pissing off the oppositions quick then you're doing your job.

[1eyedog]

As a batsman you love to hear that sort of thing. If you're pissing off the oppositions quick then you're doing your job.

:D Yeah spent many, many overs bowling to pretend batsmen just leaving them outside off stump to take the shine of the ball. That is the top orders job all right. Very frustrating.

[LostDog]

I heard someone yell out to the youngest selwood at the west coast game "Your the Dud Brother" near choked on my over priced dim sims

[Sedat]

I'm a pace bowler, often use "Cinderella gets to more balls than you" after a few misses outside off stump. Usually gets a laugh from the non-striker as well.
I've heard "I've seen better batter at a fish shop" before from some of my old pace bowling teammates in the Jika League. After a few plays and misses, out then comes "he's swinging like a disco".

Juddy's sledge against West Coast on Friday night was one of the better retorts I've heard in a long time.

[Go_Dogs]

Juddy's sledge against West Coast on Friday night was one of the better retorts I've heard in a long time.

I missed it - can someone enlighten me?

[1eyedog]

I've heard "I've seen better batter at a fish shop" before from some of my old pace bowling teammates in the Jika League. After a few plays and misses, out then comes "he's swinging like a disco".

Juddy's sledge against West Coast on Friday night was one of the better retorts I've heard in a long time.

What club did you use to play with at JIKA? I was with East Brunswick and Dennis.

[Sedat]

What club did you use to play with at JIKA? I was with East Brunswick and Dennis.
Rosebank, but it was a few years ago now. I remember playing both your old mobs in the past.

Lucky there's no racial vilification code in the Jika otherwise there would be no clubs left!

[Sedat]

I missed it - can someone enlighten me?
He was getting sledged by every single WC player, all of whom were saying to him..."smash his shoulders, make him hurt, his shoulders are stuffed", to which Juddy replied..."no wonder my shoulders are stuffed, I've been carrying you blokes for the last 6 years".

Juddy... quick on his feet and quick on his mind.

[westdog54]

He was getting sledged by every single WC player, all of whom were saying to him..."smash his shoulders, make him hurt, his shoulders are stuffed", to which Juddy replied..."no wonder my shoulders are stuffed, I've been carrying you blokes for the last 6 years".

Juddy... quick on his feet and quick on his mind.

That is dead set one of the funniest sledges I have ever read.

Class:D

[Go_Dogs]

He was getting sledged by every single WC player, all of whom were saying to him..."smash his shoulders, make him hurt, his shoulders are stuffed", to which Juddy replied..."no wonder my shoulders are stuffed, I've been carrying you blokes for the last 6 years".

Juddy... quick on his feet and quick on his mind.

Haha, very well played.

[bornadog]

Read the other day that Michael Voss never use to sledge, however he did sledge his brother once when having a shot for goal. "My father has f...ked your mother"

[MikeSheahan]

My all time favourite, Glenn McGrath v Sarwan.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IsVsLh-yGs

[Bulldog4life]

Read the other day that Michael Voss never use to sledge, however he did sledge his brother once when having a shot for goal. "My father has f...ked your mother"

Michael Voss never stopped sledging bornadog. I have read it many times.

[Mofra]

Jamie Siddons to Mark Waugh when Waugh was taking a very long time to take block: "Hurry up, this isn't a bloody test match!"

Waugh's reply: "Of course it isn't, you're playing"

[The Coon Dog]

Here's another thread, with a link to another thread.

http://www.woof.net.au/forum/showthread.php?t=1688

[Twodogs]

Jamie Siddons to Mark Waugh when Waugh was taking a very long time to take block: "Hurry up, this isn't a bloody test match!"

Waugh's reply: "Of course it isn't, you're playing"


Mark Waugh to his teammates as new batsman marks his guard. "C'mon boys, he's not the best player in this team." Batsman turns to look at Waugh and says "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"

[Sockeye Salmon]

Mark Waugh to his teammates as new batsman marks his guard. "C'mon boys, he's not the best player in this team." Batsman turns to look at Waugh and says "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"


That was James Osmond in his first (and only?) test for England.


"What are you doing here? You're not good enough to play for England."

"Perhaps not. But at least I'm the best player in my family."

[The Doctor]

My memory has faded a bit on this one but one of the best sledges I've heard came from Kieren Perkins at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics just prior to the start of the 1500m final.

There was a false start and as they came back Perkins changed lanes. His opponent the mighty Joerge Hofmann, the raging hot favorite, asked what he was doing to which Perkins replied 'just pissing in your lane".

[Sedat]

My memory has faded a bit on this one but one of the best sledges I've heard came from Kieren Perkins at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics just prior to the start of the 1500m final.

There was a false start and as they came back Perkins changed lanes. His opponent the mighty Michael Gross, the raging hot favorite, asked what he was doing to which Perkins replied 'just pissing in your lane".
I think you are referring to Joerg Hofmann. Gross was the butterfly champion in the mid 80's but who Jon Sieben sensationally beat in the 200m butterfly in the LA Olympics in 1984. Both were German. Hofmann was an arrogant prick who just snuck home against a young Perkins in the 1500m final in 1991 world champs and was baiting him in the months before the Barcelona Games in 1992 - Perkins blew him out of the water, and even Glen Housmann chipped in for silver to make it an Aussie quinella.

Great sledge all the same.

[The Doctor]

I think you are referring to Joerg Hofmann. Gross was the butterfly champion in the mid 80's but who Jon Sieben sensationally beat in the 200m butterfly in the LA Olympics in 1984. Both were German. Hofmann was an arrogant prick who just snuck home against a young Perkins in the 1500m final in 1991 world champs and was baiting him in the months before the Barcelona Games in 1992 - Perkins blew him out of the water, and even Glen Housmann chipped in for silver to make it an Aussie quinella.

Great sledge all the same.


thats right it was Hofmann. I knew the memory was fading! I'll edit.

[LostDoggy]

Viv Richards v Greg Thomas
This incident took place during a county championship match between Glamorgan and Somerset. Glamorgan paceman Thomas had beaten Richards' bat a couple of times and informed him: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering."

The very next ball Sir Issac Vivian Andrews Richards gave him the royal treament and smashed the ball out of the ground, into a nearby river - at which point he piped up: "Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and fetch it."

[Twodogs]

Kerry O' Keefe was bowling in a tour match for Australia in England during one of the tours in the 1970's. He was getting spanked for six after six and after the upteenth ball had been lost somewhere outside the ground Doug Walters piped up from first slip. "Well Skull old son. Thats the red balls finished with, now we can move onto the colours"

[ledge]

Kerry O' Keefe was bowling in a tour match for Australia in England during one of the tours in the 1970's. He was getting spanked for six after six and after the upteenth ball had been lost somewhere outside the ground Doug Walters piped up from first slip. "Well Skull old son. Thats the red balls finished with, now we can move onto the colours"

I had the pleasure of playing cards the other week with Doug Walters til all hours of the night, he loves a beer, the races and oh my the card tricks!
Lovely bloke.

[wally]

Rod Marsh to Ian Botham when he came out to bat

'Hows your wife and my kids'

Beefy repied 'the missus is well but the kids are ********'

[The Pie Man]

Merv bowling to...someone (can't remember) after a string of plays & misses, Merv pipes in with 'I'll bowl a piano next and see if you can play that'

Funniest thing I've ever heard at the footy was 2005 when we played the Eagles at the G (this was a GREAT day, Turtle with 6 goals, we looked destined for the finals, and Saturday afternoons at the G mean FULL STRENGTH GROG...ooh am I looking forward to this Saturday) just randomly this bloke standing up near us in the Paddock Bar standing room bellows .....

"You don't know anything about speed West Coast....we SELL it in Footscray'

My gut hurt after a while, I was laughing that hard. If that was anyone of you, I tip my hat. Funniest....line.....ever.

[The Pie Man]

Just remembered some quality my old man conjured at a VFL GF (Box Hill vs Weribee) at Optus a few years back. Watching Aaron Lord run around for Box Hill, he just randomly blurts 'Aaron Lord..... body of an Adonis....heart of a chicken'

Took me a while to process it was that random, it's grown funnier to me with time.

[LostDoggy]

The other day when we were playing North a couple of North yobos came and stood behind the Silver reserved seating section and started chanting "North Melbourne! North Melbourne!" pretty loudly. People stood up and told them where to go, but the funniest was when a guy stood up and turned around and chanted loudly over the top of them, firmly but without shouting, "Gold Coast! Gold Coast!"

Supporters from poor-ass clubs shouldn't play up too much. There are just too many avenues to get back at your poor ass. We should know.

[The Pie Man]

The other day when we were playing North a couple of North yobos came and stood behind the Silver reserved seating section and started chanting "North Melbourne! North Melbourne!" pretty loudly. People stood up and told them where to go, but the funniest was when a guy stood up and turned around and chanted loudly over the top of them, firmly but without shouting, "Gold Coast! Gold Coast!"

Supporters from poor-ass clubs shouldn't play up too much. There are just too many avenues to get back at your poor ass. We should know.

To the tune of their theme song, I'd start singing to a North mate of mine 'The Golddddd Coast, The Golddddd Coast..out we come, out we come etc' It got a chuckle.

[Desipura]

Libba said to Voss during the heat of battle "you are the worst player to ever win a brownlow". Voss looked back at him in amazement.

[bornadog]

Back in the 1980's at the Western Oval (as it was known then), I stood between the umpires race and the players race with my mates. Surrounding us were basically the same people every week and there was a bunch of really funny guys that yelled out all sorts of things. They kept us laughing the whole game with their antics, even if we were getting spanked.

I can't remember every thing they said, but one that stuck in my mind was a game against the Hawks. Dipper was chasing one of our players and when he finally could reach him grabbed him by the shorts. The shorts came down revealing his buttucks. Quick as a flash, one of the guys yelled out, "have a dip dipper" May not sound as funny now, but at the time we couldn't stop laughing.

[Sockeye Salmon]

Libba said to Voss during the heat of battle "you are the worst player to ever win a brownlow". Voss looked back at him in amazement.

Brett Voss lining up a shot at goal and Michael Voss says "my dad shagged your mum".

[Desipura]

Brett Voss lining up a shot at goal and Michael Voss says "my dad shagged your mum".
Did he score? I mean Brett Voss not his dad! hehe

[GetDimmaBack]

Does anyone remember standing at the north end at the Western Oval listening to Russell Gilbert "pre-fame"?
Early 80s, we weren't too strong, but there would always be a big crowd at that end to share the jokes. I can't remember much about the individual sledges, but most of them were hilarious. Every few minutes a huge laugh would start and it would go on for the whole game, no matter what the score was.
Even some of the players would occasionally look up to see what was happening!

[Twodogs]

Does anyone remember standing at the north end at the Western Oval listening to Russell Gilbert "pre-fame"?
Early 80s, we weren't too strong, but there would always be a big crowd at that end to share the jokes. I can't remember much about the individual sledges, but most of them were hilarious. Every few minutes a huge laugh would start and it would go on for the whole game, no matter what the score was.
Even some of the players would occasionally look up to see what was happening!


Yep, sure do. There was a bunch of obnoxious types who stood in front of the windbreaks. Most of them were from the Maidstone/Maribyrnong area with a few blow ins from Footscray/Sunshine/Yarraville type places. You can still find quite a few of them standing behind Aisle31 on the bottom deck at Telstra.

[GetDimmaBack]

Yep, sure do. There was a bunch of obnoxious types who stood in front of the windbreaks. Most of them were from the Maidstone/Maribyrnong area with a few blow ins from Footscray/Sunshine/Yarraville type places. You can still find quite a few of them standing behind Aisle31 on the bottom deck at Telstra.

I didn't know that.
Twenty five years on - still up to their old tricks?
We're in Aisle 40, lots of good people around us. Don't really get down to 31 very much.

Really did enjoy the humour - I'm originally from Braybrook, so may I be excluded from the "obnoxious types" cluster?

[Mofra]

Against North a couple of weeks back, a fan sledged Bradie Rawlings in the opening minutes, "What are you going to do all game Rawlings without West to hold onto?"

Had to laugh.

[Twodogs]

I didn't know that.
Twenty five years on - still up to their old tricks?
We're in Aisle 40, lots of good people around us. Don't really get down to 31 very much.

Really did enjoy the humour - I'm originally from Braybrook, so may I be excluded from the "obnoxious types" cluster?



Sorry mate-Braybrook, Sunshine, it's all the same place to us Yarraville boys.


I think they like that spot because it gives them access to plenty of opposition supporters. It's always been Geelong and Essendon supporters. Last year they were still getting mileage from Bill Farrow/David Clarke jokes that even had the Geelong fans laughing.