The Tragic Comedy Thread (or, "Only the Dogs Can...")

[LostDoggy]

Dogs fans have to have a sense of humour, even a black one. Tragic comedy has a long and colourful legacy, and for the sake of my sanity, I have placed us on that continuum.

Watching our team get down by 50 points, then miraculously get back and hit the lead, then lose the lead to two ridiculous umpiring decisions, then have our entire defence outmarked by the opposition ruckman in the goalsquare to lose the game, just gave me such a massive feeling of deja vu -- in sports, there are teams that are hopeless and are never any good so none of their fans really get a heck of a lot of hope, then there are those teams that always seem to come back from hopeless positions and go on with it. We are neither.

Instead, our hardworking nearly-men culture has ensured that we are the worst kind, the tragic, ridiculous "in-between" team -- the kind of team that is always good enough to give you some hope, ie. do something ridiculous like come back from 50 points down playing some of the best footy anyone's played all year, then lose anyway. In other words, we've perfected that unique ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It just got me thinking about all the other times we've done it, and I'll get the thread started with some examples from recent times, but I'm sure the esteemed historians on this forum will be able to pad it out with better examples than I have.

Only the Dogs can...

1. ... complain that we never get any respect year after year even though we kept making prelims, then this year, when we finally gain the respect we craved and get picked by the vast majority of the footy community to make the Grand Final, we'll end up missing the eight altogether (probably).

2. ... time our bottoming out so that we get priority picks for one of the worst drafts in living memory (the Cooney draft), and the player we pick with our one priority pick (Farren) turns out to be pretty much the most disappointing in the top 5.

3. ... make 7 prelims in the last 30 years, as good a record as any club, without actually making a Grand Final, as bad a record as any club.

4. ... have the best coach in the history of the game never to win a flag.

5. ... unearth one of the best talents in our history with a no.1 draft pick, only for him to have a degenerative knee injury that stops him from being half the player he can be.

6. ... have the coaching nous and luck to turn an inconsistent, middling small forward into one of the best dynamic running half-backs in the competition, only to lose him to a new AFL franchise, the only player under 25 to leave an established team.

7. ... have the first player in Brownlow history to have clearly polled the most votes in a year yet not be eligible to win.

I have so many others (some pretty obvious ones, of course), but I thought I would leave the fun to others. Shoot!

[w3design]

5. Have a supporter called 'remember54' because there's really been little worth remembering for the rest of the past 57 years.
6. Have players like bob Murphy..a dreamer and romantic who was somehow born to play footy for a club like the dogs.
7. Have the only player to miss a brownlow through the unilateral intervention of an official, not the umpires.
8. Have 15000 supporters turn up to a rally save their club from absolute extinction and raise $1.5 million in 3 weeks.. All from grassroots fans.

[Doc26]

* Have what should've been a match winning goal in a preliminary final missed due to a goal umpire being sadly out of position, sending the league's new franchise on it's way to it's first premiership

[LostDoggy]

Only the Dogs fans can't laugh at Freo for being premiershipless because it's actually been so flipping long since ours, we're pretty much in the same boat.

[LostDoggy]

Only the Dogs could have had the highest scoring forwardline in the league that couldn't score in finals without a big forward, then land one of the best full forwards in AFL history who performs beautifully and finishes 2nd in the Coleman, yet actually have our total scoring go DOWN.

In other words, only the Dogs can land Barry Hall and lose Johnno and Aker in the same year.

[westdog54]

Only the Dogs can draft a key forward prospect with a late pick, turn him into one of the best fullbacks of the modern era as well as the safest hands in the league on his day, only to have him not only be prone to the most shocking brain fades known to man, then watch helplessly as his body disintegrates over the course of a season following 3 straight prelims.

Only the Dogs can finish in the top 4 for three consecutive years despite having one of the smallest football department budgets in the league.

[bornadog]

Only dogs fans can start up a thread like this.

[LostDoggy]

Only dogs fans can start up a thread like this.

Haha so true.

[Remi Moses]

If it was a prelim final this week. I'd fancy the Bye:eek:

[LostDoggy]

Only the Dogs can come back from the very brink of death — both financially and on the field — to turn their club around, the honest way (without systematic tanking or salary cap shenanigans — looking at you Carlton).

Only the Dogs fans can still bleed for their club after 57 years without a flag. I'd love to see where Carlton or Essendon fans would be.

Only the Dogs can do so much with so little, compared to the "power clubs".

Only the Dogs can miss only two finals series in the last 6 years, making 3 prelims in a row playing some of the most exciting football their fans have ever witnessed, yet act as though the world has ended when injuries and rotten luck sour one season.

We have much to be proud of.

[Desipura]

if only Bruce Reid had played 14 more games we would have the bookends tied up for the next 10 years.
If only we had more players like Robert Murphy, they way he dances around opponents reminds me of Dougie Hawkins in his prime!

[LostDoggy]

Have the AFL change the Father Son rule just prior to us having the opportunity to grab some talented players, the Reid brothers & Billie Smedts come to mind. :(

[I'm Not Bitter Anymore!]

Have the only player ever suspended for wrestling (D. Southern)

[Mitcha]

Have the only player ever suspended for wrestling (D. Southern)


And if my memory is correct the only player suspended for making contact with an umpire (T.Curley).

[Maddog37]

And if my memory is correct the only player suspended for making contact with an umpire (T.Curley).


Didn't Diesel go for that as well?

[AndrewP6]

Didn't Diesel go for that as well?

He was initially suspended for 9 weeks, which was overturned by the Supreme Court, and in turn it was reinstated.

[w3design]

Have the only player ever suspended for wrestling (D. Southern)
..and the only players charged with 'intimidation' (Kretiuk, Ellis and Southern) for bumping and shouldering Michael Gardener.

[westdog54]

...could lose 5 players in the same season to torn Anterior Cruciate Ligaments.

[LostDoggy]

And if my memory is correct the only player suspended for making contact with an umpire (T.Curley).

Yes , Todd got 4 weeks for that , he never really recovered from that , its good to see him doing well as an Assistant Coach at Fremantle

Add to the list

Ambrose Palmer , 16 facial fractures after a horrible clash with two Essendon players

Neil Sasche , playing his second game, with his head over the ball he is hit by Fitzroys Kevin O'Keeffe and breaks his neck making him a quadriplegic

Stephen Boyle , gets crunched by Kevin "Cowboy" Neale and is blinded in his right eye

Also one for the trivia buffs , is it possible that Footscray FC was the first Club to allow a substitute ?

June 1921 Prahran player Bayliss is hit by a brick thrown from the crowd and is taken to hospital unconscious, Footscray Captain Percy Maybury allowed Prahran to use a Substitute which at the time was not allowed

.

[westdog54]

Also one for the trivia buffs , is it possible that Footscray FC was the first Club to allow a substitute ?

June 1921 Prahran player Bayliss is hit by a brick thrown from the crowd and is taken to hospital unconscious, Footscray Captain Percy Maybury allowed Prahran to use a Substitute which at the time was not allowed.

Really? That's a ripping bit of trivia. Sounds like the sort of question you'd get on a footballing version of QI.

[Sockeye Salmon]

Stephen Hargrave stepped in the hole where the goalposts go, wrecked his knee and never added to his 2 games.

Peter Featherby was traded to Geelong for a 6' 5", 17yo kid called Paul Hood. Hood tripped over running onto the ground in the U19's, broke his leg and never played again.

[1eyedog]

Only the Dogs can have potentially the best player the competition has ever seen be cruelly struck down by a knee on a cold night at Waverly against the Demons and then trade him to that very club the following year.

[LostDoggy]

Yes , Todd got 4 weeks for that , he never really recovered from that , its good to see him doing well as an Assistant Coach at Fremantle

Add to the list

Ambrose Palmer , 16 facial fractures after a horrible clash with two Essendon players

Neil Sasche , playing his second game, with his head over the ball he is hit by Fitzroys Kevin O'Keeffe and breaks his neck making him a quadriplegic

Stephen Boyle , gets crunched by Kevin "Cowboy" Neale and is blinded in his right eye

Also one for the trivia buffs , is it possible that Footscray FC was the first Club to allow a substitute ?

June 1921 Prahran player Bayliss is hit by a brick thrown from the crowd and is taken to hospital unconscious, Footscray Captain Percy Maybury allowed Prahran to use a Substitute which at the time was not allowed

.

Fantastic sportsmanship…

[always right]

Yes , Todd got 4 weeks for that , he never really recovered from that , its good to see him doing well as an Assistant Coach at Fremantle

Add to the list

Ambrose Palmer , 16 facial fractures after a horrible clash with two Essendon players

Neil Sasche , playing his second game, with his head over the ball he is hit by Fitzroys Kevin O'Keeffe and breaks his neck making him a quadriplegic

Stephen Boyle , gets crunched by Kevin "Cowboy" Neale and is blinded in his right eye

Also one for the trivia buffs , is it possible that Footscray FC was the first Club to allow a substitute ?

June 1921 Prahran player Bayliss is hit by a brick thrown from the crowd and is taken to hospital unconscious, Footscray Captain Percy Maybury allowed Prahran to use a Substitute which at the time was not allowed

.

Tough crowd.

Only club who over the last 20 years have recruited the only indigenous players not to have a turn of speed or freakish skills.

[comrade]

Tough crowd.

Only club who over the last 20 years have recruited the only indigenous players not to have a turn of speed or freakish skills.

What about the Zephyr? :D

[LostDoggy]

Q. Why is a game Vs the Dogs like playing in the NAB cup?
A. The Senior players go at half pace, there are a few kids that bust their bum for a regular position and the umpires always seem to trial wacky new rules that don't ever get used in other games.

(just jokes people)

[bornadog]

Tough crowd.

Only club who over the last 20 years have recruited the only indigenous players not to have a turn of speed or freakish skills.

West?

[Danny the snakeman]

Only the dogs can frustrate me as much as they do.